What Are "Ideal People" and "People of Destiny"? Below is a simple explanation of these concepts. Ideal People "Ideal people" refers to the image of a perfect partner that one desires. For example, an ideal person may be kind, understanding, and financially stable. However, the definition of an ideal partner varies from person to person. In reality, finding someone who perfectly matches all expectations is difficult, and pursuing an ideal too intensely may hinder success in romantic relationships. People of Destiny "People of destiny" refers to a special person with whom you feel “We were meant to meet.” It is said that they have the following characteristics: Naturally aligned values: Conversations feel comfortable, and there is a deep sense of...

In the past, I was constantly anxious about how much my partner truly loved me in a romantic relationship. This sense of unease affected even the smallest actions or words and occasionally caused me to become emotionally reactive toward my partner. At one point, there was a time when he was busy with work and became less responsive. This became a significant source of anxiety for me, leading to thoughts such as, "What if he doesn’t love me anymore?" As a result, I became emotional over minor issues, asking him things like, "Why didn’t you reply sooner?" or "Is your job more important than me?" in a confrontational manner. Furthermore, I engaged in behaviors meant to test him. For example,...

In the past, I frequently asked my partner in a romantic relationship to "do this more" or "be able to do that." Those requests might have stemmed from my own insecurities and a desire to fulfill my emotions. For example, I would ask him to express his feelings more clearly or to meet me every weekend, prioritizing my own ideals over other considerations. At first, my partner tried to meet those expectations, but over time, they became a significant burden for him. Eventually, our relationship began to deteriorate. One day, he told me, "I can no longer be myself," and we ended the relationship. Afterward, I reflected deeply on my actions and came to an important realization. I learned the...

Many people might have experienced being in a relationship with someone kind, yet feeling a sense of incompleteness. Such experiences could lead you to seek qualities beyond kindness in your next relationship—such as stimulation, empathy, and other aspects you deem important. Specifically, your feelings tend to evolve over time. At first, being with someone kind brings comfort and satisfaction. Kindness is an attractive trait for anyone, often evoking empathy and solace. However, this state of stability is temporary, and it may not fully satisfy your emotional needs. As time passes, moments of unfulfillment may arise. For instance, while kindness is sufficient, you may begin to realize that the relationship lacks stimulation, deep connections, or shared values. At this stage, the...

The thought, "Next time, I want to be with someone like this," comes from learning through past romantic experiences and leads to changes in your values and emotional needs. Let me explain further below. 1: Past experiences shape future choices.  The good and bad aspects of past romantic relationships help establish the criteria for selecting a new partner. For example, if you found comfort in a previous partner's kindness, you might seek that characteristic in your next relationship. Conversely, if you felt sadness due to excessive freedom in the relationship, you might prefer a closer emotional connection with your next partner. 2: Injuries from past romantic relationships influence your choices.  If you have experienced emotional pain in the past, you...

The person you still hold dear in your heart must be truly special. That feeling stems from cherished memories and the time you shared together, making it invaluable. Even if you’ve grown distant, the fact that you continue to hold onto those feelings carries deep meaning. Consider reflecting on the following: 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings  Start by accepting your emotions without denying them. Feeling that someone is still important to you is natural and a sign that your heart still feels connected to them. 2: Cherish the Memories  Looking back on the memories you shared helps reaffirm how much that person influenced your life. Those moments are essential to shaping who you are today. 3: Focus on the Present Relationship ...

Balancing ideals and reality in romantic relationships is never easy. While holding onto your ideals is important, clinging too tightly to them can blind you to the charm and potential of reality. On the other hand, accepting reality excessively may lead to compromising to the point where you cannot build the relationship you originally desired. The key lies in defining which ideals you absolutely cannot compromise on. For instance, if your values or life directions significantly differ, it may not be easy to find common ground. However, aspects like "the frequency of ideal dates" or "your partner's minor habits" might be resolved through mutual understanding and communication. Romance is about nurturing your connection with your partner and crafting a relationship...

Chapter 4: Women who let go of attachments can successfully develop relationships with others In Chapter 4, in addition to "How to let go of attachments," I will share with you some ways of thinking that I think are particularly important in love and life. This chapter is full of tips to help you take control of your life and live a flexible, light-hearted life.If you think deeply, continue to ask questions, and deepen your understanding, you will surely be able to have a satisfying relationship. Become aware of your assumptions and let them go: to be liberated from attachment Attachments often arise from unconscious beliefs.Therefore, reexamining and eliminating your preconceptions will lead to healthy romantic and interpersonal relationships. Here...

Chapter 3: Be careful! Things that will make you more obsessed with men Chapters 1 and 2 gave you some ideas on how to understand and improve your own condition.However, no matter how much you improve yourself, if you choose the wrong partner, you will not be able to escape from obsessive love. In Chapter 3, we will explain in detail the characteristics of men who lead to obsessive relationships and the points to look out for in judging a partner.💡 Be wary of men who are unplanned, thoughtless, and irresponsible. How about something like this? 😊 I've made it more natural and strengthened the message!Let me know if there's anything you'd like to change! 1. They want to be...

Chapter 2: Characteristics of women who want to fall in love normally but become obsessed for some reason Chapter 1 focused on the phenomenon of "attachment."Then, in Chapter 2, we'll delve deeper into the thinking and behavioral patterns of obsessive women. As you read on, you may find your heart broken.But that pain is necessary for growth. Without pain, there is no learning or change.That's why, please read on with courage and determination to reexamine the very essence of yourself. There is nothing else I can be passionate about except love The biggest characteristic of people who become obsessed with one person is that they have a lot of free time.Think about it.Is it possible to become obsessed with one...

Chapter 1: Dependence, escapism, victim mentality... Many people who have trouble in love think, "Maybe it's obsession." 1. I know it's better to leave, but I can't This is one of the most common concerns we hear when discussing love.In love, Reason and emotion, desire and reason are not in agreement This is often the case. In my head I think, "I need to get out of this relationship. "Even though I know that, my emotions "I don't want to leave!" and resists, resulting in conflict...And in this inner conflict Emotions often win and manifest as strong attachments. The cause of obsession is the belief that "romantic feelings should be valued" "Romantic feelings must be treasured."This underlying mindset is what...

Introduction For those who want a happy relationship but can't seem to make it work "I'm not in a proper relationship with my partner and I always end up doing what he tells me to do." "I can't forget my ex." "I've always had uneasy relationships and they never lasted." Do you have any of these concerns? In this book, "attachment" is defined as "a state in which you are unable to let go of feelings that are tormenting you." Nice to meet you. My name is "Amy". Currently, I am mainly active on social media, and I am fortunate to have over 140,000 followers. Also, as a counselor, I have received over 1,400 phone consultations. From that experience, I...

Introduction For those who want a happy relationship but can't seem to make it work "I'm not in a proper relationship with my partner and I always end up doing what he tells me to do." "I can't forget my ex." "I've always had uneasy relationships and they never lasted." Do you have any of these concerns? In this book, "attachment" is defined as "a state in which you are unable to let go of feelings that are tormenting you." Nice to meet you. My name is "Amy". Currently, I am mainly active on social media, and I am fortunate to have over 140,000 followers. Also, as a counselor, I have received over 1,400 phone consultations. From that experience, I...

Chapter 4: It’s not easy to get what you want 050 “He’s a nice guy though” is the beginning of unrequited love This is just an excuse to turn someone down, and is a word used to avoid being treated like the bad guy. First of all, people are weak to things they don’t have. If you hear the phrase “a nice person who does everything you want,” it may sound like the ideal lover. For example, if you say “I want to see you” after work, he will rush over right away, and if you call him, he will happily answer. Even if you behave in a way that is generally considered to be well-liked, it won’t resonate with...

Chapter 3: In the end, love changes 040 “Maybe I don’t like you anymore” means I don’t like you anymore When you no longer know whether you love your partner or not, in most cases, it is evidence that you no longer really love them. Even if you change your mind during the break-up conversation and decide that you still love them, your new love is likely to be different from the one you had before. For example, when you feel that you no longer need a certain piece of stationery that you’ve been using for a long time, your attachment to that stationery has already faded. Similarly, there are people who keep saying, “Maybe I still love you,” about...

Chapter 2: I will decide the outcome of this love 018 Unrequited love is always the best The title is a response to the question, “What should I do if I fall in love with my teacher?” In the small world of school, the only people close to you are your classmates, seniors, and juniors, but the person asking this question was probably attracted to someone who was much older than you and stood out from the crowd. The teacher is kind to everyone, but you may have felt that he is only kind to you because you were in trouble or approached him proactively. Furthermore, if you force the relationship, you often fail to fully consider the impact on...

Chapter 1: Dreams are dreams, they are not something you can achieve 000 Prologue I will make it clear in advance that I tried not to go into too much detail when I wrote this. I have included only the essential information, and have deliberately omitted supplementary sentences and preambles. As a result, some parts may be difficult to understand at first glance. However, this omission is intentional. So why didn’t I go into detail? Why did I make such an attempt in a medium like a book, which has no character limit? The answer is quite simple. It’s because I want you to learn about love and be able to put it into practice for yourself. No lover will...

Introduction What do you like about movies? Is it the interesting story? Is it the fact that they move you deeply in a short amount of time? Or is it that they give you an excuse to meet someone? Oh, there’s no need to look at the cover again. This book is not a film review but a love essay called “I Will Decide the Ending of This Love,” so please don’t worry and just keep reading. Let’s go back to the original topic and change the question: Why do you think movies are entertaining and fun to watch? The answer is simple. A movie is a digest, so to speak, condensed into a short period of time. Even if...

Introduction What do you like about movies? Is it the interesting story? Is it the fact that they move you deeply in a short amount of time? Or is it that they give you an excuse to meet someone? Oh, there’s no need to look at the cover again. This book is not a film review but a love essay called “I Will Decide the Ending of This Love,” so please don’t worry and just keep reading. Let’s go back to the original topic and change the question: Why do you think movies are entertaining and fun to watch? The answer is simple. A movie is a digest, so to speak, condensed into a short period of time. Even if...

Conclusion In this book, many times“This is a no-no, so please don’t do it.” I told you. In fact, most of themwhat I have done in the past That’s it. i used to be“Love Crusher” It was. Until your mid-20s, even if you date someone you love, 💬“He’s my boyfriend, after all.” “If you love me, it’s natural for you to do this.” I was forcing my ideal love on her. No matter how tired or sleepy he is,“We need to have a talk.” 💬“Why?” “Why?” cornered him,I was hurting his feelings with my reasoning. At first he valued me, but gradually he started to…“It’s not that I’ve lost my love for you, but I’m tired.” and left me. If you don’t change yourself, will you never...